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Is it rape when it's someone you know or have a relationship with?

When someone is assaulted by a person they know or are in a relationship with, the victim—and others—may be confused about whether the attack was really a rape.

Oregon law, however, is clear on the subject of marital rape. Oregon has been a leader among the states in asserting that the marriage contract does not erase a ​person's right to say no to ​their spouse. A ​person in this state who is raped by their spouse has the same rights as any other victim of rape, and can receive the same protection under the Family Abuse Prevention Act as ​someone who is beaten by their spouse.

Similarly, what some call "date rape" is in fact simply the crime of rape. We believe that no occasion that ends in rape can properly be called a date. Perpetrators who sexually assault their dates often rationalize: "It was a date and they knew what to expect" or " They shouldn't have drunk so much if they didn't want to do it" or "They didn't fight or scream."

People who have been raped by their partners or dates experience many of the same fears and feelings as the victim of any sexual assault. They suffer from guilt ("Was it something I said? or did?"), from fear ("What if it happens again?"), and from loss of trust ("How could they do this to me?").