It Hurts to Let Them Go But it Hurts More Having Them Abuse You

I was in a relationship for about two and a half years with my former girlfriend, our first year together wasn't a walk in the park but like all relationships we had our ups and downs but we were in love. Slowly she started out by just pushing me around and she would punch the walls around me. One night in my parked car she punched me in the face and left me with a black eye and a knot. I should have left then but I didn't, the abuse escalated throughout the second year of our relationship. I still moved in with her on her word that she wouldn't harm me any longer. 

But 2 months in the abuse started again, this last situation that made me finally leave was just a couple of days ago. We had got into a fight over her not spending the little time she had with me. It got to the point where she had me on the ground choking me to the point I’m almost fainting. She choked me multiple times that morning punched me multiple times on my side and back dragged me throughout my apartment by my hair. I was able to manage to fight back and in doing so I honestly believe I saved my own life. 

She left the apartment and I called my Dad to come pick me up in fear she would come back to finish the job. I’m walking around with the shame of the bruises on my neck. I was afraid of leaving because every time I would try I would get hurt even more. I waited a long time to finally tell my parents to help me. Please don't wait as long as I did. I could have been killed if I stayed any longer. 

Please don't be afraid to leave even if you love them, because they don't love you enough to stop hurting you. I would cry for her to stop, beg her and she saw how scared I was and never once did that stop her. I would encourage you to reach out and get support from friends and family. I thought I could handle it I thought I would be protecting other girls from her but I was only killing myself slowly. It hurts to let them go but it hurts more having them abuse you.

Ryan StillwaterThisIsDV